“The Camino taught me that life is never what you thought it would be, so you make something special out of what you are given“
In 2010, I was inspired by a movie called The Way, about a father whose son dies while walking on the Camino de Santiago. To honor his son’s passing, the father, Tom, played by Martin Sheen, decides to walk over the same trail. As I watched the movie, I thought about what it would be like to do this pilgrimage. Seeing how the father’s life was transformed by the people he met really inspired me. I began to read more about the significance of the trek and why it means so much to so many people who walk it every year. The traditional Camino de Santiago, or Camino Francés, goes from St. Jean Pied de Port, France, to Santiago de Compostela, Spain, and is known as The Way of St. James because many believe the apostle once walked along this path. Started in the early 9th century, the heart of the pilgrimage remains the same today: to lay down one’s burdens at the feet of St. James in the Santiago cathedral, and, in essence, to place them at the feet of our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Martin Sheen, after his role in The Way, said, “Every pilgrimage is a journey to your own heart.” Pilgrimage theologian Piotr Rozak is quoted as saying, “What a person discovers on the way to a holy place…is the experience of being guided by God.” Kevin A. Codd, in To the Field of Stars, says, “the walk to the Field of Stars, to Santiago de Compostela, is a journey that has the power to change lives forever.”
The idea of walking the Camino was ignited again after my son passed away in 2013 from lung cancer. Before that, I’d grown to love daily walks around a lake near my house after feeling God prompting me to take an hour every morning to “walk and pray.” It was because of these quiet times of contemplation that I was able to come to grips with so many questions I had as to why my son suffered and died. My conversations with Him each day brought me to the realization that He never intended any of us to experience these terrible outcomes. And that He grieves as much as we do over the upsetting things that happen. These heart-to-heart talks, along with daily searches through scriptures for answers, were extremely freeing for me.
But, in the months and years after my son’s death, I was still often beset by thoughts of regret. Often sounds or sights would trigger my mind to quickly zoom back to my last 10 days with him. Thinking about walking on the Camino, I often wondered if I, like Tom in The Way, could receive a healing release from the lingering, painful memories that continued to grip parts of my heart. If I did a pilgrimage like this, would it enable me to finally lay down this awful burden? I wondered. And the idea simmered in a secret place for almost 10 years!
Fast forward to June of 2022. I was approached by a colleague to make the journey with her, and I began to investigate the ways we could do it. Walking the entire Camino takes about 35 days. Since we were limited to two weeks, we could spend one week walking from St. Jean Pied de Port to Logroño, Spain, with a transport to take us from Logroño to Sarria, Spain. Then we’d spend the second week walking from Sarria to Santiago, about 62 miles, which was the minimum distance to be able to receive a coveted certificate in Santiago for traversing the Camino. My biggest concern about going was my age. I turned 70 that year, and I wondered if I had the stamina to walk so many miles a day. I was apprehensive about the aches and pains I sometimes encountered, but, as I approached the time we’d planned to go, each concern was dealt with in ways that only God could have remedied. So, we continued our plans for what turned out to be a life-changing, heart-healing journey of a lifetime.
Every Camino trekker has a goal. Some make the journey for physical reasons, maybe to accomplish a walking target. Others go for mental objectives, like figuring out a life transition or overcoming a life challenge. Many make the trek for spiritual reasons, like healing or getting closer to God. Mine was all three. And all three reasons were answered in ways I could never have imagined. But the “extra” I experienced was the amazing people I met along the way. You see, besides getting up early each morning to the sounds of roosters crowing, cows lowing, horses neighing, dogs barking, and birds twittering, there was the sight of hundreds of pilgrims walking along a trail, sometimes through the mist, all in a line and on the same journey. Often, we all walked in silence through fragrant eucalyptus forests, near red-poppy-filled and grape-vined fields, up and down rocky paths, past manured pastures, over brook-traversing bridges, and beside ancient stone-faced buildings and barns filled with sweet-smelling hay. But, as the morning progressed, cafés popped up along the trail, and many stopped for a fresh-brewed cup of coffee and a crusty croissant. Then the conversations began.
Everyone had a story and a reason to be there. And the draw for us all was connection—something that could never be made over the internet or through TV or by talking on the phone. It was something that could only be done in person, face-to-face with life. In a super-connected world, where answers and things can be had at the touch of a button, we all saw that true value lies in heart-pounding, body-sweating, cobblestone-jostling, hiking-pole-extending, croissant-savoring, rooster-crowing, poppy-smelling, coffee-cultivating, eye-tearing moments like those on the Camino. No media could ever give us that, and we knew it!
I walked between six and 19 miles a day and survived the toughest treks through painful blisters and aching feet. But, throughout the physical challenges, my senses were seized in ways I can hardly describe. My sight was enthralled by the gilded interiors of large cathedrals and the spectacular scenes from mountain tops, while I was touched by the rusticity of the small rural churches and the kind and encouraging words of passers-by. My taste was captured by fried squid, fresh-baked bread, local cheeses, seafood-loaded paella, salads with anchovies, sardines, and salmon covered with white asparagus, cucumbers, olives, local lettuce, and tomatoes, croquetas full of ham and cheese, and the many good regional wines. And my hearing was arrested as I ambled across ancient Roman bridges that crossed over burbling, bubbling brooks. But, what I felt was the most life-changing sense of all, especially when I realized the true relevance of the pilgrimage.
Here, one could find a common bond that surpasses nationality, ethnicity, language, background, wealth, and position by engaging with women and men from all over the world. You see, it was the people I met along the way who helped me most to heal. And to finally lay down all my regrets.
-Lele Beutel
